This is really more a quick recipe than a “hack,” but it seems every tip and hint is now a hack, so that’s what I’m going with. We’re going to dress up a pre-made soup with a couple ingredients and get an entrée (or soup course) that tastes like you worked so hard.

First, get lobster bisque. Panera sells a 16-ounce tub in the refrigerated deli section of supermarkets, but I’d suggest the Walmart Marketside version. It’s cheaper and by the time we doctor it up, any quality difference will be buried.

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A few years ago, Brach’s realized that the candy corn machine was only getting used in October. So, if they came up with “seasonal” candy corn, maybe they could squeeze out a little more money. First, there was Thanksgiving candy corn with flavors including roasted turkey and cranberry sauce and green beans. I tried ‘em. You know stuffing-flavored candy corn will be disappointing, but even “coffee” and “apple pie” weren’t that hot.

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I’ve had this bottle on my desk for a while now, daring me to get it cold and give it a try. In fact, it seems to have left stores in May. I imagine it’ll be back at some point. I picked up this particular bottle at Walgreen’s, but Mtn Dew is making exclusive flavors for everyone from Red Lobster to 7-Eleven to Dollar General.

The label says “with a Blast of Heat and Citrus.” I’m more worried about 146% of the sugar I “need” today than the pepper kick. I haven’t had a full-sugar soda for years. I used to pound Mountain Dew in high school – back when it came in glass and there was a hillbilly on the bottle – but these days, I’m a Coke Zero Sugar guy.

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I’m gonna say it – I like candy corn. I only need it once a year, but that vaguely honey-flavored, tri-color, triangular tidbit of sweet paste hits the spot in mid-October. Chew a few kernels along with peanuts and you’ve got a bootleg Payday bar.

In 2020, Brach’s tried to kill off we few remaining candy corn lovers with bags of Turkey Dinner Candy Corn. More a dare than an actual treat, Turkey Dinner Candy Corn was only available at Walgreens and contained the flavors roasted turkey, stuffing, green beans, cranberry sauce, ginger glazed carrots, and sweet potato pie. I tried to find “Thanksgiving in a Bag” but it was sold out long before November.

Guess what’s back for 2021 with a new flavor mix? Returning “favorites” are roast turkey, green beans, stuffing, and cranberry. Carrots and sweet potato pie have been replaced with coffee and apple pie, presumably so there are a couple flavors you’ll actually eat more than once. How did I snag a bag? You gotta shop for Thanksgiving candy in mid-August.

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I bought this new Pepsi flavor because I needed change. I was driving to Domino’s to pick up a large pepperoni and green pepper and I needed a couple dollar bills for the guy who walks the pizza from the oven to the parking lot. (What can I say? I’m a cool dude.) I stopped at a convenience store to break a ten and saw a pallet of Pepsi Zero Sugar Mango before I got to the candy bars.

I’m a Coca-Cola Zero Sugar guy, but I can keep an open mind. After twisting the cap, the smell coming off is almost minty. The label only says “natural flavor” so I’ll assume the “mango” is coming from a mango. I’ve been drinking a lot of flavored soda waters lately, and the essence is that “fresh” smell that also comes off peach and pear.

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