A bootleg Christmas song for you today, one that, as far as I can tell, has never been officially released. Paul Simon sings “Silver Bells” while Steve Martin does a mock-solemn monologue about the meaning of Christmas. Billy Joel plays piano and sings harmony. It’s funny. You should listen…

There are lots of rumors about the recording, but it’s the internet, so solid facts are tough to nail down. It’s sometimes called an SNL outtake, but the three were never on the same episode. Billy Joel quotes about the recording come from an interview in a 2001 American Airlines magazine, but the original article isn’t online any more.

“One night around Christmas 20 years ago, I was doing a recording session at A&R Studios in Hell’s Kitchen. We had just finished the session, and my producer and I decided to get some food. It was fairly late at night, and we ran into Paul Simon and Steve Martin at the restaurant. We had a little bit of wine, and then we had a little more wine. Nobody was feeling any pain.”

“We got a brainstorm that we would go back to the studio and record a Christmas record. It must’ve been about midnight at this point. So we go back to the studio, and Paul Simon and I are singing in the background that Christmas carol ‘Silver Bells.’ We’re harmonizing, and Steve Martin starts into this soliloquy ‘What Christmas Means to Me,’ with these hysterical descriptions of the secretary sitting on the copying machine, all these very risqué scenarios. And Paul and I are just trying to keep it together.”

“We did this maybe in one take and we had a Christmas single. Now, it was never given to a record company, but there’s a copy of it floating around somewhere. Stuff like that happens in New York. It’s a small town.”

One story goes that (now retired) Los Angeles radio DJs Mark and Brian were the first to play a bootleg copy of “Silver Bells” on the air. Now, you can find multiple copies on YouTube and since an official release seems unlikely, that’s the best place to find it.

Today, a little Christmas music gift for me. I’ve been a fan of Nick Lowe since I found a discount cassette of Rockpile’s “Seconds of Pleasure” on sale at the University of Missouri student union. It’s a magnificent collection of rootsy power pop. From there, I moved to Nick’s 1985 solo album, “The Rose of England” and have followed him every since.

If you don’t know Nick, you might recognize his one Top 40 hit, “Cruel to be Kind,” or Elvis Costello’s cover of “(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding.” In 2013, Nick got around to making a Christmas album, “Quality Street.” The name comes from a tin of British chocolate and sweets that’s a popular Christmas treat – a mix of different flavors in one package.

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Today’s classic Christmas song is “Last Christmas” from Wham!, which looks fantastic on YouTube. In 2019, the original clip got a 4K digital makeover. “Last Christmas” was shot on film, so director Andy Morahan was able to find most of the original footage and get it rescanned at higher resolution. A few shots were missing, so they were up-rezzed and improved as much as possible. Other than the haircuts and clothes, the video looks like it was shot last week and not 1984.

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Another quick one today as I go through a holiday song a day until December 25. “Frosty the Snowman” never actually mentions Christmas – unless you go with the modified lyrics from the 1969 Rankin/Bass animated version. In that case, “I’ll be back again someday” becomes “I’ll be back on Christmas Day.” Take it away, Jimmy Durante and Jackie Vernon …

My favorite version of “Frosty the Snowman” is from Leon Redbone’s 1987 album, “Christmas Island.” It’s a duet with Dr. John and certainly the reason why Redbone played a stop-motion snowman himself in 2003’s “Elf” – although Leon the Snowman’s look is borrowed Burl Ives’ character, Sam, in Rankin/Bass’ “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

For a complete switch-up, yet still great, here’s Cocteau Twins in 1993 with their dreamy Scottish take on “Frosty.”

Does a song have to mention Christmas at all to be a Christmas song? I bet this cover tune puts you in the holiday frame of mind even though the original was a hit in the summer of 1969.

Annie Lennox and Al Green teamed up to cover Jackie DeShannon’s “Put a Little Love in Your Heart” for the “Scrooged” soundtrack in 1988. The cast sang the song at movie’s end and transitioned to Lennox and Green as the credits rolled.

Green had left pop music in 1980 after falling off a stage and taking it as a sign from God that he should turn exclusively to gospel music. Producer Jimmy Iovine was the musical supervisor for “Scrooged.” He asked Green to record the song, Green asked if Annie Lennox would sing with him, and it became Green’s first Top 10 pop hit since 1974. It’s also Lennox’s highest charting song outside of Eurythmics, although her bandmate, David Stewart, did produce the track.

Here’s the original from Jackie DeShannon. Odd bit of trivia – Jackie wrote “Bette Davis Eyes,” the 1981 hit for Kim Carnes.

And let’s wrap up with an all-star version I found in doing my research. From a 1979 UNICEF charity concert in Assembly Hall at the United Nations – here’s John Denver, Donna Summer, Barry Gibb, Olivia Newton-John, Earth, Wind, and Fire, Andy Gibb, Rod Stewart, and ABBA. I also see Henry Fonda, Henry Winkler, Gilda Radner, David Frost, Rita Coolidge, Kris Kristofferson, and I’m sure I missed a few…